Do Whatever You Want
by everybreatheverymove
Summary: Short one-shot, originally written as Tumblr prompt: Alex gives April advice on how to deal with her relationship with Jackson, and what she does with said advice.


**Originally written as an anonymous Tumblr prompt: _Alex giving April advice on how to deal with her relationship with Jackson, and seeing what she does with it._**

* * *

"What's up, Apes?" Alex asks as he slides his tray across the table.

She smiles softly, "Not much, the ER's been pretty quiet today." He nods and she continues after taking another bite of her food, "How's Jo?"

Alex grins and holds up his fork, "We banged, no big deal." He speaks with his mouth full and April grimaces.

"Thanks for... that." She shudders at the thought of Alex and Wilson getting busy in the bedroom.

He lifts his head after a moment and raises an eyebrow as he talks, his mouth ful of spaguetti again, "How's the paramedic?"

She frowns, "Do you actually care or-"

"I couldn't give a crap, but I'm not in the mood for sitting in silence." He smirks at her.

April shakes her head and sighs, "He's good, we're good." She breathes with a slight huff, "We're good."

"You don't sound sure." He states.

She shrugs, "Well, we are. We're fine. We're engaged, and we're getting married, and- We're good." She speaks fast and he grins again, this time pissing her off even more.

"You talk to Avery?" He asks her and she licks her lips.

"Yeah, we're friends. Why wouldn't we be talking?"

"Are you serious?" He stuffs another fork full of the dirty food in his mouth before swallowing, "Dude, the guy's like trying to keep his distance."

"What do you mean?"

He sighs and rolls his eyes, "I mean: he said he was trying to avoid you because you hurt his feelings or whatever."

She's still as confused as before and she crinkles her brows, "What are you even talking about?"

"Damnit, Kepner, I'm not a chick, I don't know. He was hurt or something, talk to him."

"Why would he be hurt?"

He sighs, "If I had to take a guess, I'd say because you two were screwing and whatnot and then you go and get yourself signed over to some other guy. He probably thinks you're banging the paramedic or something, I don't know. Ain't my problem."

April frowns, biting her lip, "I didn't sign myself over to another guy."

"Dude, I can tell you now, when you're married, you ain't gonna have time for him. Especially with that dork fiancee of yours, he seems pretty territorial."

"Matthew understood everything, and he's- He's not territorial."

"He might as well just pee around you and get it over with. You really think he's gonna let you hang around with Avery when he knows that he's the one who took your special little gift?" He raises a brow with a smirk when he knows that he has her cornered. "Put it this way, Avery's still holding soemthing for you and you must have done something when you chose the paramedic. _Again_."

"You know what? This is all gold, coming from you. Since when are you the go-to for relationship advice?" She quips, stabbing her fork roughly into a piece of lettuce.

Alex shrugs, "Whatever. At least I'm not marrying someone I don't love."

"You're talking to me about love, you? Really? This is real?"

She points between them with a hint of a grin on her face and he sighs again,

"Look, do whatever you want, I don't care. I'm just tellin' you that Avery ain't gonna be waiting around when you realize that you made a mistake. You can marry that other dweed for all I care, just don't bring me into your crap anymore, alright?"

"You started it!"

"No, you started it when you made him bring a date to Bailey's wedding last year, and he made me bring a date. And then I got roped into your crap, and I'm sick of it. You should've just banged in the hallway and got it over with." He stands with his tray, giving her a final glance before he walks away.

April stares after him, a peeved look on her face as she registers his words.

* * *

"Can we talk?" She leans her forearms against the nurse's station and bites her lip.

Jackson glances at her briefly before returning to his chart, "I have work to do." He goes to walk away until she calls after him.

"Jackson, please." She smiles to herself when it works and walks back over to her, sliding his chart on the desk. She grabs his arm in her hand and drags him down the hall.

He sighs behind her, "April, I have a lot of crap today, alright? I can't be your friend right now."

She stares at him blankly, a frown on her face, "You can't be my friend _now_? Or ever?"

Jackson looks down at her confused as he rests his hands in his pockets, "What?"

"I just- Look, do you want to be friends again, or are you just humouring me?"

"April, I can't do this right now."

She tugs on his arm, "Can we be friends? Can we be best friends again, or have I completely lost you?" She seems upset and slightly angry, and he groans.

"I can't do this."

"God, just answer me! You're such a coward. Can't you just, for once, please, tell me the truth?" She seems desperate and he closes his eyes for a second and licks his lips.

His eyes open and he stares down at her, unsure of what to reply until he finds his words, "I can't be your friend. I can't be _just_ your friend. Okay? You confuse me, and piss me off, and mess with my head, and I can't just hang around you all day without wanting to kiss you. And right now I do, I want to kiss you. But I'm not going to, and I can't, because we're supposed to have moved on and you- you're engaged. Alright, you're engaged to some tool that I can't stand but I can't do anything about that because I messed it all up, alright? Just blame it all on me, that's all you ever seem to do anyway. So, just do it, I can take it. It's all my fault. I took your virginity, I broke your promise to Jesus, I screwed up your whole 'revirginizing' thing', I almost got you pregnant, I ended things. I wanted you when you didn't want me, when you weren't ready, so... I'm sorry. I'm sorry for wanting you, I'm sorry for wanting to love you. And I'm sorry you wouldn't let me."

The tears down her face don't escape him and he sighs again as he watches her break before him.

April wipes the tears from her face with her sleeve and bites her lip with a slow nod. She stops and stares up at him, her brown eyes meeting his carefully, "I did... want you. I did, I still do. But I- But it's a mess, my head. My head is a mess, I can't even think straight because of you. Did you know that? No, because, what, you thought I got engaged and forgot about us? I can't! I can't forget about us, about you, and I don't want to. I don't want to forget because you're my best friend, and I love you, and I want you in my life for the _rest of my life_."

She closes her eyes and takes a sharp breath,

"It's a mess, and I want you, and I need you. But right now, I just need my friend back. So, please, for now, just forget about everybody else and just be my friend? Please?"

"Okay." It's a simple word and she nods slowly, collapsing against his chest and he wraps his arms around her body, pulling her against him. "For now."


End file.
